Departure sensitive (for Janet)
These days, each window casts a rhombus of sunlight on the floor, brightens, dims, then brightens again, glowing like tungsten.
Love’s horrible. All you can think about is fucking that person. Or you catastrophise. The future’s an unreleased Russian film, storms of Stalin and wheatfields, wheatfields flattened under books. Worst case scenarios when you’re conspicuous by your absence.
You asked last night, ‘Are you fearless?’ I was trying to seduce you to stay and I laughed, ‘I am full of fear.’
Do you know your hands flit and rest a moment on my shoulders and I can’t think of pain and a time after pain? Only now and now – no, I’m lying. I’m a chipmunk filling his cheeks for the long winter ahead. I store you up in my memory, in my mouth and skin, in case things don’t work and I’m cold, starving.
It took a tall drunk guy in a blue dress to tell me I have great lips. It took you to show me who they were made for. You came and you said, ‘I am for you, for now.’ You came and said, “I will be everything you asked for, and else, and more.’
Today, lying on my back, I’ve decided I will be fearless. So the future’s a Russian flick. I will not go to see it. The window’s open. This wind that licks my skin and runs its fingers through my hair is warm without a hint of winter. And if I get up and go to the window…Yes. (31)
So amazing. That’s all I can say about that.
I played the baritone sax with a trombone part in the Jazz Band class. What a fun instrument. All saxes are all built the same, it just takes a different embouchure to get it to work. I officially have a schedule now, which is nice. I know where I’m supposed to be, rather than following Courtney around or having to run all the way back up to 2nd floor and finding out from my work partner.
Speaking of work partners, tonight is the Katima-Welcome Party. It started snowing halfway throughout the day, so it seems highly unlikely that anyone will show up, but then again, it IS the Prairies and they are probably used to the snow. We got enough fresh baked bread, home-made tortilla chips and salsa and vegan muffins to feed the town.
We placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of the raging snow that was outside. 4 people showed up: 2 billet families. One of the families works at Oak Hammond Marsh, and we were invited to participate in a Swimwear Fashion Show on Sunday, featuring the Parrot Club of Winnipeg (there are going to be a lot of parrots at this fashion show/summer party thing. I think I may have to rock one as an accessory, like Jennifer Love Hewitt did). I’m going to be wearing a surfer wet-skins outfit, and 2 different types of board shorts. There will be pictures.
Today I played an alto sax in band, got invited to help out the Senior Choir, and bought a portable, roll-able piano! You better believe I’m excited to get it tomorrow! I’ll get someone to take pictures or record a video of me playing it, because IT IS AWESOME. *ahem* I also went swimming with the Special Ed. kids today. It was so much fun! I got to play ball, tag, and float around the pool for an hour. Afterwards I took 10 minutes to myself in the sauna. It was glorious.
When we returned to the school, we discovered that someone had smeared their own feces on the walls of a boys bathroom. This incident happened last week when someone did the same thing in a girls washroom. In order to find the culprit, there will be a lock-down on the bathrooms during breaks. Loks like people are going to have to hold it until lunch or the end of the school day. This all reminds me of Woodingford a little, only more messy. Should be an interesting next couple of days.
Now it’s time for…
21-40 Things About Me:
21. I’m blunt to a fault sometimes. I’ve gotten better at not being that way though. Living with 10 other people cures you of that habit quickly.
22. I would take an one-on-one interview over a group interview any day.
23. Lucky Charms cereal is so good. I think the love for the super-sugary cereals comes from not having those cereals when I was a child. I was also deprived of Sodalicious, Fruit By The Foot, and other fun-time treats that would get traded over elementary lunches.
24. I’m a sucker for Major 7th chords.
25. I find it easy to predict a chord progression of a song.
26. I enjoy lazy male vocals and female vocals with vibratos. I can”t understand what’s being said in screamo songs. Can anyone?
27. I have never had a pen explode on me and make an embarrassing stain on my pants or shirt.
28. I don’t have much of a problem walking around the house in my underwear, unless there are guests in the house.
29. Every time I watch the movie Amélie, I always find something I missed the previous times I watched it.
30. I prefer form fitting or tight yet comfortable clothes over loose clothing any day.
31. I don’t care much for beer. Everything else alcoholic is great, and I’ll force down a beer if I have to, but I will never ask for one.
32. I love Easter chocolate. It’s my most favourite time of year because the weather is warm and the chocolate is cheap and delicious. (As I write this, I am eating a Rolo Egg. It’s pretty delectable.)
33. I am a mouth breather, according to my friend/model/dental hygienist.
34. I will defend friends if they are being put down behind their backs.
35. I read the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings when I was 10. I couldn’t bring myself to watch the movie. Although, I do think I would enjoy watching the Hobbit. Bilbo… Bilbo Baggins… only three feet tall…
36. I love it when I start singing a song and then someone in the house will finish it and vice versa.
37. However, I find it annoying when people who are not performing with me start trying to add in bad harmonies or vocal acrobatics in the middle of my songs. You have to start at the beginning of a song and build up to it, not just jump in there and add in whatever you want.
38. I’m a nerd. But I didn’t take programming in high school or university, so I don’t know how to hack into your computer, or physically put together your hard drive. But I can fix your computer in other ways. I’m handy with printers and photo-copiers as well.
39. I think the Microsoft Office Assistants are annoying. I don’t want to see you pop out and ask me, “Oh, it looks like you’re writing a letter! Want me to help you with that?”. No, thank you. I’m capable of doing it myself.
40. The greatest compliments I have ever received were after my performances. People would come up to me and say, “Thank you, your songs made me feel like this, or made me think of a time in my life.” I love knowing that the music that I play makes others feel good.